Why We Need A Break From People?

Being With Someone For 1 Day, 1 Week, 1 Month, 1 Year and Beyond

I hate it when I have to live in others’ homes or others live in my home!

I grew up alone, so living with others is not my strong suit. I think when I am living with others I can’t be myself, which is really uncomfortable for me. I am always quiet and composed outside and if I have to do the same thing at home then what’s the point of calling it home?

If I have to describe it, my home is like my shrine, so allowing people in there is like letting them invade my holy place.

For this reason, I had to get a lot of backlash from my family. They say I am too rigid; it won’t work in the real world, I need to adjust and I can’t tolerate people, etc.

I agree with them. But I won’t adjust when it comes to me living freely.

So when they used to say I can’t tolerate people, I found it intriguing and started giving it some thought because when I am outside I don’t have any problems it is when they are at my home it causes discomfort for me.

After indulging myself with this notion, I came to the conclusion that none of us can tolerate anyone after a set period of time.

Experience

Even a person I know started to get irritated when he started living with us for more than 4 months. Some of his behavior started to change and others wondered why that happened. Everyone thought he was a people person and could never be harsh with others. He never before got upset or showed these types of negative emotions.

Let me explain the reason,

We all pretend to be someone else when we are in public or when the public is with us. Simply because we want the society to accept us. Those who don’t follow the norm are thrown out of society.

But this pretension or self-control has a limit. We are not monks who have trained themselves to be in control all the time.

This limit is different for everyone. For me, I would say a month, another person I know has a limit of four days, etc.

After this particular time passes for an individual he or she can’t hide their true selves anymore, and the mask starts to break and fall off. True selves include habits, mindset and behavior. We can’t change these things on a whim nor can we control them unconsciously.

We have to be in our conscious state all the time in order to maintain the facade. The moment our conscious state focuses on something else and our instincts take over, our true face starts to show off.

And these attitudes of ours give others the feeling that suddenly we can’t tolerate them.

There might be various reasons why!

For example,

When we are with someone for social interaction it lasts a short period of time so showing our good side is easy but when they start to stay with us we see the things in them that we don’t like. Which makes them intolerable to us.

That is why most love marriages fall apart. Being with someone for 5 hours and for 5 consecutive days are very different. That is why these days when couples in a relationship talk about living together I think they have a point. At least they will be able to check their compatibility which will save them some trouble.

Same reason why we have problems with our own siblings but not with our cousins. Siblings mean 24 hours and 365 days, while cousin is max to max 10 days. We have to see and handle our siblings every moment while cousins, behave because it is for a few days.

Why else do you think you are sweet to your aunt or uncle who lives outside but have constant arguments with your mother and father? Some things you dislike about them and some things they dislike about you!

Solution

Most people handle this solution by spending a significant amount of their time outside to avoid drama, especially when guests are in the house.

While for couples they need to spend some time every day alone to recognize and appreciate one another.

And these days the most common solution to this is, to start earning and afford your own place as soon as possible to be free.

In Conclusion

Tolerating anyone for a long period of time is next to impossible and we require a break from them. So next time if someone says you have social problems or you can’t mix with others. Remember this, when the time comes, the person in front of you who is saying this won’t be able to handle it either!

Thank you for staying until the end!