This Thing Makes You A Cold Person

Do You Know This Thing?

Have you ever been told not to cry over everything as a child? That this emotional breakdown is insignificant! Or after a heartbreak or setback, you were told to just move on?

But you needed someone there to listen to you, to hold you while tears started to come out of your eyes. But there was no one. So you were just sitting, head down sobbing.

Emotional Vulnerability

Time changed, you changed and how you handle your emotions also changed. Now you don’t show your emotional vulnerability anymore.

People will say you are so tough, that you rarely show any emotions when you are down. Everyone thinks your life is awesome and without any problems.

But the truth is, You have learned to cheer yourself up and hold yourself together when you are breaking. When you don’t receive comfort from your close ones from childhood, you slowly start to handle yourself.

As a result, you start to disregard other’s emotions. You become a cold person. Cold in the sense that you think

if I can handle my own problems by myself, why can’t they?

You start to see others’ emotions as a sign of their weakness.

A Cold Person

You don’t have the slightest idea of what to do if a person in front of you is telling you about their bad days. When someone tells you their problems you just listen to them. And if that person is a closed one, you give them practical advice.

But that is not what they need right now. They want someone to have their back, and give them a shoulder to cry. But how can you do that? You never learned or better never taught how to by your close ones.

Or if a person is crying beside you, you are sitting there awkwardly, sometimes trying to put a hand around them but questioning your move if that is alright or not!

News of death doesn’t faze you, you feel nothing inside. But a loss is a loss so it comes out in some other unproductive ways, which affects your daily life negatively.

Somehow you feel happy in others’ misery. Because at that time you can only connect with them because you live a miserable life. So not happiness but others’ misery helps you to connect with them!

Now let me ask you,

Is this type of lifestyle healthy?

OF COURSE NOT!

I saw an Instagram post

if something upset you and you went to the bathroom to cry and then after splashing water in your face came out like nothing happened then you are a strong person.

It’s like they are convincing you that enduring pain silently is okay and the incentive is you will turn into a strong person.

Lesson

I am here to tell you it’s not okay. Because doing so, you lose a valuable part of being a human. Which is showing emotions. Emotions such as anger, sadness, frustration, joy, happiness and pain etc.

I can speak from experience emotional expression is completely natural and we all should practice it in a safe and secure environment where no one would judge us.

As a child, I didn’t have anyone to talk to about anything. Mainly because of two reasons either they will think it’s my fault or they will criticize me. And in all these somewhere the reason I told them will vanish which is for emotional support.

If you have a reliable friend or family member, seek them for emotional support. Empty yourself when you are with them. And if you lack this privilege seek help from others.

Because this is affecting your life.

Thank You for Staying Until The End!