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Failure, we all have heard this term more than once in our life. But what is Failure? It means not meeting the intended objective or desired expectations one set for themselves. In short, it is the opposite of success. If you haven’t achieved success that means you failed. This maybe just another word in the dictionary but it has more value in our life and we know it.

Two sides of a coin:

Success and failure are two sides of a coin. Our happiness, our wellbeing, our motivation, our life, everything depeds on this coin. And we toss this coin everyday, in every stages of our life. From a big decision to a small one, we all want to win, we all want success to come as a result of that coin toss. But only a few truly win the coin toss and achieve the success. In this post I am not going to talk about success as I have already discussed it in one of my previous posts. In here I will be talking about failure. How to avoid it and how to go on with life with the burden of failure.

Concept of Success and Failure programmed into us:

When we were in school if we get good marks we felt happy because our parents taught us that is success and if we get bad marks or even average marks we felt bad because our parents taught us that is failure. It is not only about marks but also in sports or in any competition winning is good and loosing is bad, that’s what we have been taught from the early stage of our lives.

So from childhood it has been programmed into our mind that success is associated with happy feelings and failure is associated with negative feelings (I did not say sad feelings cause when we fail we feel not one but a lot of feelings at once and those feelings are negative).

And when we grow up we automatically associate success with good salary, with good job and failure with no job or a job without security (that anyday you will get fired), with low or average salary etc.

Social Media’s influence:

Failure did not affect people 15 20 years ago as much as it does now. Reason for this is social media. Many articles have been published, many videos have been made about how because of social media more and more people are getting depressed or have forgotten to see good things of their lives. Everyone just chasing or trying to becoming what is trending on social media. We all know what’s been shown into social media is only a part of a person’s life or a side of story, only the good things are show and bad things are cut out. But to be honest when we fail and our friends bosting about his or her success on social media our bad feeling gets 10 times worse.

How it affect us:

Many people cannot handle this failure and end their lives, which is a foolish thing to do. But from personal experience I can say that when you are doing something with all your heart and soul and in the end it does not work out. Your whole world comes crushing down and you feel like you have nothing to live for.

But that is not true, if you are feeling like this, then think that this is just a phase like feeling of success doesn’t last forever. This feeling of failure will also fade with time you just have to hold on to yourself during this difficult time. We also feel bad because people that we care about, tend to leave us during the failure phase, but by thinking deeply you will realize you were always alone. You came into this world alone, you will leave this world alone. Nobody will hold your hand, nobody will give you a shoulder to cry, this is the truth of life.

How to avoid Failure:

Key to avoid failure at all costs is to do the thing you are good at. In today’s world we do what others have already done and found success. But those others and you are complety different. There is no gurantee doing that will help you achieve success. Rather there is a greater chance that you will fail. Same as listening to your close ones like friends, parents, relatives and doing something that they think is good for you. That will end up in failure cause nobody knows you better than you know yourself.

Pave your own path make life decsions based on your strengths. Maybe it will be harder to walk on that path, you will feel like quitting. The person walking next to you on his or her path will seem much simpler. Everyone around you will tell you to quit because it is not giving any results. Believe in youself at that stage. The path that you build based on your strength, you will never fail in that.

Key to remain positive during the time of Failure:

Everytime you feel down remind youself that success and failure is your personal thing. Success is your personal achievement and failure is your personal setback. Only you can access your success and failure, no one else can. You set the bar for yourself no one else does or can, do that for you. And if someone else does and tries to do that for you tell them they don’t have the right to do so. You and only you can set the bar of success and failure. So adjust it according to your convenience and I gurantee you, you will be fine.

Conclusion:

I want to conclude by saying that failure is a concept in our mind. It is a programme in our mind so getting rid of it, is not possible. But remember when feeling like nothing is working out for you, you are loosing everything. That is just one of a billion things that is not working out for you. So what it is not working out for, you leave it. The next thing will work out for you. If the next thing does not work out out, the thing after that will. You have your whole life. Doesn’t matter if you are just a 25 year old or 50 year old as long as you as breathe you can try out things one after the other. [UPDATED ON JUNE 21, 2024]